She was deeply distressed and prayed to the LORD and wept bitterly.

Our verse today falls within one of the most beautiful and real stories that I can relate to. As we begin our new devo series on emotions, this is a perfect place to address the emotions of grief and sadness.

Let me sum up the story for you. This is the story of Hannah and how the prophet Samuel came to be (you can read the whole story in 1 Samuel chapters 1-3). Hannah’s husband, Elkanah, was a priest with two wives. Peninnah had sons and daughters (the scriptures don’t tell us how many), while Hannah was barren. When Elkanah would go and sacrifice in the temple during his duty time, he would give portions to Peninnah and her sons and daughters but double portions to Hannah because he loved her.

Now the text tells us that Peninnah would “provoke” Hannah grievously to irritate her about her barrenness (women can be so mean), and this happened year after year. Verse 11 follows and says, “And she vowed a vow and said, ‘O LORD of hosts, if you will indeed look on the affliction of your servant and remember me and not forget your servant, but will give to your servant a son, then I will give him to the LORD all the days of his life, and no razor shall touch his head.’”

In her grief, Hannah went straight to God. Some of you reading this right now are in the midst of this anguish, and I weep with you. I know how it feels to long and pray for a child month after month and yet hear the answer “No” from God. If you know the story, you know that Hannah’s prayer was answered with a “Yes” from God. After years of barrenness, God opened Hannah’s womb.

But I don’t want to focus on the answer, because I can’t promise your answer will be the same. I want to focus on the grief. More so, I want to focus on Hannah’s response and actions in the middle of the grief. You see, God made our emotions, so when we have them, they are real, and they are valid — they are even Godly. However, our response to our emotions can be very, very wrong. I’ve seen women in the middle of this grief become so bitter and angry they were unable to celebrate the joys of the women around them. I’ve heard of marriages falling apart. I’ve seen women fall so far into depression that they weren’t themselves anymore.

But what did Hannah do? She prayed. We don’t know exactly how long Hannah was without child; the text simply says “year by year.” But we can see by this that Hannah prayed for years. Again, some of you know exactly what that feels like, and you keep hearing the same answer Hannah did for years, “No.”  My heart aches for you. Your grief is real, but so is God’s compassion.  

Psalm 103:8 says, “The LORD is merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love.”

Psalm 116:5: “Gracious is the Lord, and righteous; Yes, our God is compassionate.”

James 5:11: “Behold, we consider those blessed who remained steadfast. You have heard of the steadfastness of Job, and you have seen the purpose of the Lord, how the Lord is compassionate and merciful.”

So many of us have experienced grief — whether it’s from the repeated “No’s” to the prayers for children or the loss of someone. Whether it’s from a life that didn’t go as expected or from searching for your one and only. Whether it’s from a loss of relationship or the loss of a beloved pet. We all experience grief. So, what do we do with our grief? How do we make sure we don’t become bitter and angry, so self-absorbed in our own misery that we miss out on all that God has for us?

The first thing is to turn to the One and Only who can handle your grief and soothe your pain. And when I say turn, I mean TURN. Turn your grief, frustrations, anger — all of it — to God. He can handle it. Expose the dark in your heart and let God shine His light on it. He can’t help you with anything you won’t freely give to Him.

The second thing is to get into your Bible and get on your knees. I can tell you all about God, but unless you experience Him for yourself, you won’t fully get it. That’s like me telling you all about my best friend but until you get to know her, you don’t truly know how awesome she is. We want to KNOW God, not just know about Him. And the only way to do that is to get with Him yourself — through His Word and through prayer.

Lastly, be in community with other believers. (If you’re not a believer yet, go back to step one and give your life to the only One who can truly take your grief!) If you go to ACF, we have small groups and serve teams that are like families. They walk with each other through the good, the bad, and the ugly. For more info, email me at colleen@acfak.org.

“To all who mourn in Israel, he will give a crown of beauty for ashes, a joyous blessing instead of mourning, festive praise instead of despair. In their righteousness, they will be like great oaks that the LORD has planted for his own glory” (Isaiah 61:3).

Father God, thank You that You meet us in the middle of our grief, that You will turn beauty from ashes and mourning into joyous blessing. God help us to handle our grief in a righteous way, trusting in You to comfort us. For those who are in the middle of the anguish Lord, I pray healing comfort for them. I pray they come to know You through this and have a very real encounter with You. Lord guide them, protect them, soothe them, and let them know how very much You love them! In the comforting name of Jesus ~ Amen!