I want to preach it because I’m not ashamed of the good news. It is God’s power to save everyone who believes. It is meant first for the Jews. It is meant also for the Gentiles. (NIVR)

Paul, who is the author of Romans, was also known as Saul who persecuted and killed Christians before his encounter with Jesus on the road to Damascus (Acts 9:1-6). He even wrote that he was a man who truly hated Christ and all who associated with Him (Acts 26:9-11). If I were Paul, I think that I would be ashamed of my past and hesitate to preach the good news.  

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In fact, there was a time when I was ashamed of my past! How does the word ashamed affect you? It evokes strong feelings in me as it returns me to the kitchen in one of my childhood homes. I was a young teenager sitting at the table and my mom was cooking. I quietly said, “December, January, February, March, April, May, June …” My mom quietly said, “Yes, it is true.” I had been seeking confirmation of what another family member had insinuated to me. I now knew that I was conceived out of wedlock! Nothing else was said, but I could feel the shame in the room. I was a young teenager, and at a time when teenage pregnancy was still a taboo topic. The shame grew in me, and I knew that my mom felt even more ashamed knowing that I knew.

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Shame is an intensely painful feeling that changes a person’s perception of self-worth. It can make a person feel flawed and unworthy of love and belonging. Shame is often contrasted with guilt; but guilt focuses on a person’s action or behavior, while shame focuses on a person’s sense of self. Do you feel flawed or unworthy? Breaking free of those feelings is an everyday journey to discover the depth of God’s love for you and His limitlessness power to transform you! As ACF begins this study of Romans, maybe shame is the root of a feeling that you need to examine through the lens of God’s grace. I needed to!

Not only is Paul not ashamed of previously killing Christians, but he is now preaching the good news to everyone! How can Paul make such a drastic switch from killing to preaching? It is God’s power to save! Paul describes God’s power as “incomparably great for us who believe” (Eph. 1:19-22). God’s power is a transformative power that can radically change a person just like Paul changed. God’s power is evident in His gift of salvation through Jesus’ work on the cross to save us from death, the consequence of our sins. I believe in Jesus, so God’s power is more than enough to cover any shame from my past, regardless of the pressure of culture, family, or friends.  

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Over time, I learned more about my parents’ journey through this teenage pregnancy. I began to understand the stigma attached to teenage pregnancy in their generation. My mom was living in a time when most teenage mothers were sent to live with “another relative” and the baby was often given up for adoption. My dad and mom, who deeply loved each other, were married knowing that they deeply loved and wanted me. Why didn’t I feel that love in the kitchen instead of shame? I let the pressure of society influence me, disregarding God’s power and love. I pray you let God’s power and love free you from any shame you may be holding onto.  

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When I continued to let God examine my heart through this verse, I discovered that I am still letting the pressures of society influence me since there are times when I feel ashamed and miss opportunities to share the good news. I had to reconcile myself to this discovery. It is one thing to believe the gospel, but it’s another thing to take the risk of sharing it with strangers. Regardless of culture, heritage, race, age, education, income, past actions, or anything else, I want to take the risk! When God invites me to take that risk and share with someone whom He has placed in my path, I do not go alone; God’s power will be with me and support me in sharing!  

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I can now feel His power growing in me in these moments, like His power grew in Paul, to proclaim the good news of salvation. It alone has the power to meet the deepest needs of people and wash away the darkest stain of sin. It washed away my shame and my parents’ shame! I need to live freely, knowing I am loved and saved along with His power in me as I share with others!  

Abba, I thank you for covering my shame with Your grace. I pray for anyone struggling with shame to seek support and Your power to help them hear Your voice of love rather than the lying voice of shame. May I proclaim the good news to all without regard to the vast differences among people! I want to rejoice in all of God’s power to save everyone! Please open my heart to take risks and share God’s power knowing He, alone, can meet people’s deepest needs. I love You, Amen.