A couple of years ago, our church selected Jonah for a church-wide study. I wasn’t too excited because, if you’ve been around church for a while, Jonah is one of those “Yeah, but I already know it” stories. I really didn’t think I was going to get anything too life-altering from a few weeks of studying Jonah. However, because the Bible is “living and active” (Heb. 4:12), we can always learn something new from even familiar passages. And let me tell you, God used the little book of Jonah to humble me pretty aggressively that year!

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At the time, my family was about a year into waiting for the trial of a family member accused of terrible actions. What I expected to take a few months became an exhausting cycle of court dates, delays, and unanswered questions. Each time we hoped for movement, the process was postponed again.

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We felt stuck in limbo. There was no resolution. What if something else happened? Could it get worse? Why does this all take so long? I remember thinking, “God, can you not just do something? Move a little faster? Where is justice?” It was easy to feel angry. Sure, I was angry about what had been done, but I was also angry because the situation wasn’t resolving. This was also the season of life when I came to the painful realization that I had the spiritual stamina for sprinting, not marathons.  

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I can still remember the day I was studying Jonah 4, and God allowed me to see that I was just like Jonah on the hill outside of Nineveh, waiting “to see what would happen to the city” (Jonah 4:5). Now, if you’re not familiar with this part of Jonah, it’s worth reading Jonah 3 and 4. They’re short, but a lot is going on in these few verses. Jonah has essentially given the worst and least enthusiastic evangelistic message ever recorded, and yet Nineveh repents. So, God relents from His plan to destroy them. This infuriates Jonah, who complains that this is the whole reason he didn’t want to come to Nineveh. He knew God was “gracious and compassionate, slow to anger, and abounding in faithful love” (Jonah 4:2), and he wanted Nineveh to be punished for its wickedness.

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It was in that place of study, in that life season, that I felt like God said to me, “What’s it to you? You’re just sitting here, waiting for your version of justice, and irritated that it’s not happening in your timing. The outcome and people involved belong to Me, not you.” Ouch! But God was right. I was sinking a lot of mental and emotional energy into waiting for resolution. Did I have a reason to be angry? The answer, I think, is yes and no. There’s a righteous anger that is wholly intolerant of abuse, injustice, and evil. It was okay to be angry about those things. It was not okay to be mad that God was not delivering justice in the way or timing I wanted. Would I want swift justice for my sins, or would I want the opportunity to repent and receive grace? We should be thankful that God is gracious, compassionate, slow to anger, and abounding in faithful love (Jonah 4:2) because that’s the same patient love that pursued us and drew us to Jesus. God’s patience gives people time to repent (2 Pet. 3:9).

That day, I decided to leave the “hillside.” Years later, we are still waiting, and I’m grateful God did not allow me to lose all that time to anger, fear, frustration, and bitterness. I can hate what happened, while leaving the outcome to Him. I can even pray that the person involved will see clearly, repent, and be made right with the Lord, regardless of the earthly outcome.

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Are you on a hillside waiting to see what becomes of your Nineveh? Friend, get up and leave it to the Lord. He is perfectly just and loving. It’s better in His hands than yours.