C.S. Lewis once wrote, “God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our conscience, but shouts in our pain” (The Problem of Pain).

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Anyone who has ever experienced any form of suffering can attest to this truth. Coming face to face with pain forces us to wrestle with questions we otherwise might not face. Questions such as: Why does a good God allow suffering? Is God listening? Does He see our pain?  

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The things that have caused me to wrestle with such questions also provided opportunities to dig deep into the foundations of my faith. There, in the digging, I found the answer in the form of a person – Jesus Christ and Him crucified. Because of His death, there is a future with eternal life. Because of His sacrifice, restoration with a holy God can be our reality. Because of His agony, pain and tears won’t exist in Heaven. The One who calls Himself “I AM” answered our questions on the cross, which means “our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us” (Rom. 8:18 NIV). Yet in His suffering, God graciously showed us a blueprint for walking through difficulty.  

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When Jesus faced the cross, He didn’t sit in isolation. He invited His two closest friends, James and John, into His distress. He told them what He was going through, and He communicated His need. In Matthew 26:38, Jesus used very specific language when telling His friends, “My soul is crushed with grief to the point of death” and “Stay here and keep watch with me” (Matt. 26:38 NLT).  

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In His moments of deepest heartache and difficulty, Jesus sought community. He went to His closest friends, told them His pain, and communicated His need. Satan loves to isolate us because it prevents us from receiving one of God’s tangible earthly gifts to us – community. When you surround yourself with the right kind of people, your community becomes the visible, physical demonstration of God’s love towards you. As you move through life’s highs and lows, your community acts as His hands and feet around you, just as you do the same for them. Your circle matters, and it is worth purposely building and stewarding well.  

Having spent the majority of my adult life as a military wife, I know this can be difficult, but building community at every duty station has been worth it every time. We may not have family two minutes down the road, but we have learned to build friendships that turn into family, and we all show up for each other. We recently went through a major, life-altering surgery with one of our daughters, and thanks to our community, we were never alone. Is it easy to share your pain or to look for ways to meet the needs of others? No. Is it easy to start over and build a new circle of friends every couple of years? Also, no. It requires a lot of sacrificial time and attention, but I can tell you it’s worth it to seek community every time.  

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Maybe the idea of community is new to you, but I would encourage you not to do life alone. Having people with whom you celebrate times of joy, process the hard questions with, and lean on in times of difficulty makes life more meaningful. Learning to cultivate community in your life is a skill worth building. If you don’t know where to begin, start with proximity. Who around you might need a friend? Learn to be the kind of person who pulls up extra seats at their table, or notices and engages with those who come to things alone, and you’ll discover friends are easier to find than you realize. Friendship starts by simply being a friend. I would also encourage you to look into the groups at ACF. There are home groups, hiking groups, mom groups, men’s groups – something for everyone! Click the ACF Groups link to get connected. If Jesus took the time to surround Himself with people, it’s a good investment of our own time, too!