For I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my flesh. For the desire to do what is good is with me, but there is no ability to do it. For I do not do the good that I want to do, but I practice the evil that I do not want to do. Now if I do what I do not want, I am no longer the one that does it, but it is the sin that lives in me. (CSB)

I once heard a pastor say that marriage opens our eyes to how selfish we are, and having children will do the same. I laugh about this now because this was totally my experience! My husband and I did our best to take being “prepared for marriage” seriously. Imagine my surprise when that did not free us completely from the struggles of two sinners setting up home together. After a few years, I felt pretty good about how much I had grown. Then our children started coming and brought with them the painful awareness that I can still be pretty selfish, proud, and impatient!

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Beginning in verse 14 through the end of the chapter, Paul begins to describe the struggle we experience as we try to do what is right. Commentators are somewhat split on whether Paul is describing his experience as a well-intentioned Jew without Christ (similar to every unbeliever) or his present experience (similar to every believer). Regardless of Paul's exact meaning, the truth is applicable to both situations: we cannot have sustained righteousness apart from Christ.  

Today's key verses are particularly relatable to my current season of parenting and homeschooling four kids. It’s not that I was doing so much better before I had children, and then I tanked. It’s just that being a sinner trying to raise little sinners can feel like God handed me a magnifying glass to see my own sin more clearly. I want to love them well, show patience, and break generational sin patterns—but I fall short daily. Don’t feel bad for me, I’m not beating myself up. I know I get things right, too. But, if I don’t remain aware with correct perspective of how I fall short and how much I need Jesus, there’s no hope for me.

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Marriage and kids are not the only ways we feel this struggle or learn this lesson. That’s just my experience because it’s where the bulk of my day is spent. Paul had neither of those, and he still felt it. We can all feel this every day in how we interact with other people, both those we love and those we don’t. There are situations in our workplaces, in traffic, at Wal-Mart, and in private where we experience this struggle. Why? Because sin is pervasive. Even in Christ we struggle with our sin nature, but it is only in Christ that we have a chance to overcome it. We have a big church word for this process: sanctification. From the moment I accept Jesus as my Savior, I have justification (right standing with God). However, the process of sanctification (becoming more Christ-like) is ongoing for my whole life. I am no longer without hope, a slave to sin that is beyond my control. Through the work of the Holy Spirit in my life I can overcome sinful behaviors.

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In my own life, I feel the weight of this in the holy work of motherhood. In your life, you might feel it in the holy work of loving people well, beating a sin habit or addiction, or something else. God desires sanctification for us all, and He loves us enough to make it possible through Jesus.

Alongside a growing relationship with Jesus and time in His Word, one of the best tools I have in my belt against the struggle Paul describes here is Christian community. Confession of sin is not a topic we generally love to talk about. However, the support, accountability, encouragement, perspective, and prayers I can receive when I am willing to be honest about the ugly parts with other people is invaluable. It may not be appropriate to share every detail with everyone, but do intentionally seek a few trusted people who can walk with you. We are all busy. That’s why we have to be as intentional about deeper Christian relationships as we are with church attendance and time in the Word. It will never happen by accident. Small groups are a great place to start finding your people. You can always check out the available groups on the ACF website or reach out to Colleen, our ACF Groups Coordinator, if you can’t seem to find a group that fits your schedule. Summer is sort of a slower time for groups, but more will be available in the fall. Stay tuned!

Pray today that the Holy Spirit would equip you to do the good things! We are powerless against sin apart from Christ. You could also take some time to pray for growth in your relationships with other believers, that God would not only bring you the type of friends we talked about, but that He would also help you be that type of friend.