I recently had the privilege of visiting Japan. The Japanese people give many verbal instructions to the masses. The problem is, I do not speak Japanese, not even a little. The last thing I wanted was to cause offense by my actions, so I carefully watched the body language of other listeners trying to comprehend what was being communicated in the many recorded announcements assailing my ears. One thing I noticed in my hyper-alert state, however, was that the messages never ceased. After a while, I began to feel a bit badgered (my own fault, of course).  

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As I reflect on the phenomenon of communication, I realize that, in my own language, I would’ve been able to decipher what messages to receive and what I could ignore. Since I understood exactly zero words, it began to feel as though the chatter was incessant. The words spoken could have brought clarity and security; instead, they brought confusion and insecurity. Thankfully, we did not have any major miscommunications, and it was a great trip, but this possibility got me thinking of the two filters needed for effective communication: One filter for the speaker to succinctly say what is needed to communicate clearly and one filter for the listener to decipher the importance or application of each message. Since my listening filter was congested by my language barrier, trying to understand messages drained me of energy. As a consequence, I stopped listening.  

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I don’t know if you have ever had the problem of talking too much. I call it word vomit (sorry for the visual). I would describe it as when words flow from the mouth with no filter. While it can feel good to get all the thoughts out, some thoughts are not helpful. This is the negative consequence of word vomit. If you always voiced every thought, you would likely wear out someone listening and possibly destroy some of your own dignity in the process. I have seen this happen in my children, when my messaging is too much. Sometimes my incessant chatter causes my children to stop filtering what is helpful for them; so eventually, my voice becomes background noise they ignore. My inability to filter and succinctly say only what is needed and helpful then results in kids who “don’t listen to me.”  

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Maybe you cannot relate to speaking too much, but the lack of filter when you do speak is ringing a bell. Maybe you hardly speak at all, but your lack of words causes those around you to distance themselves in the assumption that you’re disinterested in contributing to their life in a meaningful way. Whichever category you fall into, one thing is clear – our words matter.  

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The Bible makes it very clear that we are to speak life to one another. Ephesians 4:29 states, “…Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them.” How can we use appropriate words to benefit others? As with most messages, the meaning of the message matters more than word count or choice, as distinct personalities respond differently to a variety of messaging. As Christians, the goal is to be people who have great wisdom in our words. Much of the incessant chatter we hear is marketed as wisdom, but most of it is worldly – “Buy this product, it will change your life,” or “Follow this method, your child’s behavior will improve drastically.” The problem is that worldly wisdom is an oxymoron. The world cannot and does not offer true wisdom, as wisdom is from God alone. So, longing to be wise with our words can only come from asking our Heavenly Father to filter our speech. I don’t know about you, but I want my words to be an instrument of restoration and building others up. It breaks my heart to think that some words I have spoken could be, and at times, have been weapons of destruction. 

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The entirety of James 3 speaks to the power of the tongue and where wisdom in our words comes from. James 3 concludes with verses 17-18, saying, “But the wisdom from above is first of all pure. It is also peace loving, gentle at all times, and willing to yield to others. It is full of mercy and the fruit of good deeds. It shows no favoritism and is always sincere. And those who are peacemakers will plant seeds of peace and reap a harvest of righteousness.”  

Does this description of wisdom reflect your words? I know I have work to do. Let us ask God to help us speak when He has something to say, rather than talking until we have something to say.  

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Lord, I pray that you would help me take inventory of the words leaving my mouth. Let my words bring life to anyone listening. God, filter the incessant chatter that wears my listeners down and stop my destructive words that may tear others down. Help me to be full of wisdom when my mouth is speaking. Amen.