“No! I’m not tired! I don’t want to go to bed!” These are the arguments drifting down the stairs as I write this. My youngest two consistently protest bedtime loudly, and since I stay home with our children throughout the day, my patience is often spent by bedtime. I am sorry to say, I am not usually the best example of the fruits of the Spirit to my children when I’m tired. My husband, however, has a way of mixing humor and sternness that baffles me, and he often gets our children to cooperate at bedtime more effectively than I can. He is strong where I am weak. Since we said, “I do,” we took on an obligation to bear with one another’s failings and weaknesses in our marriage. We are united, and because of this, it often means we are not pleasing ourselves. Let’s be real, bedtime is the bane of our existence, and neither of us wants to handle it; but each time my husband takes it on when I just cannot, I feel loved a little more.  

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As believers, we have opportunities to show this kind of love to one another, as we all have differing levels of spiritual maturity.  As we mature in our faith and understanding, we find more freedom in Christ than self-imposed rules we may have followed as a new believer. When we acknowledge the Holy Spirit’s work in us as we have grown, we can use our own experiences to show others patience with their growth. We can rely on the Holy Spirit to help us discern how to love others in such a way as to spur growth in them so they can continue to focus on knowing God more and maturing without getting hung up on preferences. The strength of God in us is the maturity to discern when to let the Holy Spirit work in someone’s heart rather than arguing a point. Because we have this strength in us, we are to set aside some of our own freedoms and help others who are spiritually weak; but this isn’t a begrudging setting aside of our freedoms. As with most things in our Christian walk, our heart posture matters.  

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So, practically, how we can consider the spiritual needs of others more important than our own? This may look a thousand different ways: Paul, in chapter 14, mentions dietary restrictions that many early believers felt deep convictions over, where Paul felt full freedom. It could look like refraining from partaking in alcohol if a friend struggles with this. It can be being sensitive to clothing choices or movie choices in the company of some believers, even when you personally don’t share their convictions.  

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I loved the way The Message translation of the Bible puts these scriptures in Romans 15. It says: “Those of us who are strong and able in the faith need to step in and lend a hand to those who falter, and not just do what is most convenient for us. Strength is for service, not status. Each one of us needs to look after the good of the people around us, asking ourselves, ‘How can I help?’”

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“Strength is for service, not status.” In order to serve others, it requires a level of humility. If we are not growing in humility, we are likely not growing in maturity. Humility is the vehicle by which we maintain a correct lens of our own maturity and avoid looking down on those who are weak. Rather, we see them as equal brothers and sisters needing support for a season for a particular issue. My husband’s preference of not handling bedtime takes a back seat, and he never makes me feel like a bad mom for leaning on him for the bedtime fight. Likewise, we are to live in unity with one another, so our preferences may take a back seat for the peace of those around us. Are you strong in your faith? Are you using your strength for service to others?

Lord Jesus, you were the ultimate example of setting aside your personal preferences to love others well. You are infinitely patient and gracious with us in our slow growth and maturity. Help us to see all the ways you have been patient in our growth. I am thankful for your strength in my own weaknesses. Help me to bear with others in their weaknesses and love them well on their journey to grow and mature in you. Help me to show humility in the ways I choose to love others and set aside my own preferences. Show me where I am not living this way and loving others well. Strengthen where I am weak, and where I am strong, help me to remain humble in showing patience to those who are growing in an area I am strong.