Can you think of a time when you had a disagreement with someone over something that is really insignificant, but it becomes much more? I have members of my family that, for years, we couldn’t get together for a meal without setting rules about topics that weren’t allowed during the meal (like politics…). I wonder how that interaction could have been different if I had remembered who I belong to and let that help navigate touchy topics.
It’s amazing how quickly little things can grow into big divisions: A side comment. A difference in preference. A disagreement over food, music, politics, or worship style. Before long, relationships fracture—not over what’s essential, but over what’s secondary.
That’s what Paul is addressing in Romans 14. The church in Rome was divided—some believers ate certain foods; others didn’t. Some observed holy days; others didn’t. Instead of focusing on Christ, they started judging and dismissing each other. Paul doesn’t tell them to win the argument. He tells them to remember who they belong to. “For we don’t live for ourselves…” That statement flies in the face of modern culture. We are told to follow our hearts, chase our dreams, and live our truth. But the gospel calls us to a different way: we belong to Jesus.
Belonging to Christ means we no longer live to promote ourselves or protect our pride. Our lives are now about honoring Him. Every choice, every word, every interaction becomes an opportunity to reflect His heart and character. That kind of perspective changes everything. It changes how we handle disagreement. If my ultimate loyalty is to Jesus, then I can’t treat people—especially fellow believers—as disposable. I can’t let minor differences destroy what God is building. It changes how we measure our worth. If I belong to Christ, then I’m not defined by being right or getting my way. I’m defined by the love and grace He’s already given me. It changes how we live in community. If we all belong to the same Lord, then we are family—not enemies. And family doesn’t walk away over “small potatoes.”
But let’s be honest: this is hard. It’s hard to let go of our preferences. It’s hard to stay united when we feel strongly about something. That’s why we need this reminder from Paul. Whether we live or die, we belong to the Lord. When you root your identity in Christ, it frees you. You don’t have to cling to control. You don’t have to prove yourself in every conversation. You don’t have to fight every battle. You’re already held, loved, and known—by the One who gave His life for you. And that belonging gives you the strength to love others, even when you disagree.
If you’re not yet a follower of Jesus, maybe this idea sounds strange—giving up control, surrendering your independence, living for someone else. But what Christ offers is not slavery—it’s true freedom. When you belong to Him, you’re no longer enslaved to pride, fear, or the need to always be right. You’re free to live with purpose, with love, and with peace.
Imagine a church—and a world—where people didn’t divide over every disagreement but lived out their shared identity in Christ. That’s the kind of community the gospel creates. And that’s the kind of life God is inviting us into.
Reflection Questions:
Here are some questions to reflect on as we look at this verse and the rest of Romans 14:
Can you think of a time when you had a disagreement with someone over something that is really insignificant, but it becomes much more? I have members of my family that, for years, we couldn’t get together for a meal without setting rules about topics that weren’t allowed during the meal (like politics…). I wonder how that interaction could have been different if I had remembered who I belong to and let that help navigate touchy topics.
It’s amazing how quickly little things can grow into big divisions: A side comment. A difference in preference. A disagreement over food, music, politics, or worship style. Before long, relationships fracture—not over what’s essential, but over what’s secondary.
That’s what Paul is addressing in Romans 14. The church in Rome was divided—some believers ate certain foods; others didn’t. Some observed holy days; others didn’t. Instead of focusing on Christ, they started judging and dismissing each other. Paul doesn’t tell them to win the argument. He tells them to remember who they belong to. “For we don’t live for ourselves…” That statement flies in the face of modern culture. We are told to follow our hearts, chase our dreams, and live our truth. But the gospel calls us to a different way: we belong to Jesus.
Belonging to Christ means we no longer live to promote ourselves or protect our pride. Our lives are now about honoring Him. Every choice, every word, every interaction becomes an opportunity to reflect His heart and character. That kind of perspective changes everything. It changes how we handle disagreement. If my ultimate loyalty is to Jesus, then I can’t treat people—especially fellow believers—as disposable. I can’t let minor differences destroy what God is building. It changes how we measure our worth. If I belong to Christ, then I’m not defined by being right or getting my way. I’m defined by the love and grace He’s already given me. It changes how we live in community. If we all belong to the same Lord, then we are family—not enemies. And family doesn’t walk away over “small potatoes.”
But let’s be honest: this is hard. It’s hard to let go of our preferences. It’s hard to stay united when we feel strongly about something. That’s why we need this reminder from Paul. Whether we live or die, we belong to the Lord. When you root your identity in Christ, it frees you. You don’t have to cling to control. You don’t have to prove yourself in every conversation. You don’t have to fight every battle. You’re already held, loved, and known—by the One who gave His life for you. And that belonging gives you the strength to love others, even when you disagree.
If you’re not yet a follower of Jesus, maybe this idea sounds strange—giving up control, surrendering your independence, living for someone else. But what Christ offers is not slavery—it’s true freedom. When you belong to Him, you’re no longer enslaved to pride, fear, or the need to always be right. You’re free to live with purpose, with love, and with peace.
Imagine a church—and a world—where people didn’t divide over every disagreement but lived out their shared identity in Christ. That’s the kind of community the gospel creates. And that’s the kind of life God is inviting us into.
Reflection Questions:
Here are some questions to reflect on as we look at this verse and the rest of Romans 14:
Jesus, thank You that I belong to You. I don’t live or die for myself, but for You. Help me remember that truth, especially when I’m tempted to make secondary things the main thing. Teach me to value people over preferences and unity over pride. Give me the humility to listen, the grace to love, and the strength to stay connected—even when it’s hard. Let my life reflect that I belong to You in everything I do and say. And if I haven’t yet surrendered to You, stir my heart to trust that You are worth following. In Your name I pray, Amen.
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