God has a funny way of revealing Himself sometimes. Often, when you are looking for Him in places where you want Him to be, you will have a very hard time finding Him. It’s not that God hides Himself; He actually is all around us – but He’s not a cookie cutter. When you make plans for your life, you don’t then try to make Jesus fit in those plans, because He probably won’t. 

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       Though this story is about a weeklong trip, this testimony actually started years ago.

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I went to the same school for three years, and later transferred elsewhere for my senior year. I did not enjoy those first three years; I was surrounded by gossip, isolation, and ultimately it just wasn’t the place for me. Senior year came, and I finally felt what it should have been like for the previous three years. I had a tight group of friends, teachers who poured into me academically, mentally, emotionally, and most importantly, spiritually. It felt like family. My final year of high school was a really amazing experience, and I didn’t want to leave that in high school. Many of these friends were headed down to a college in Arizona. I went back and forth and debated this decision for the entire school year. Early May came around, and I made the decision to commit to this university to pursue a degree in Global Ministry and Spanish. It felt right at the time. I was excited to be with friends and continue that chapter of my life. This would have been a good thought, if I were the author of my life. 

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Everything was falling into place: I graduated, went on two global mission trips, summer was in full swing, friends were great, life is good…right?

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I did not feel peace about college; I wasn’t solid on my major. I knew I had a calling to missions, but this path just didn’t feel right. I prayed through the decision, and though God never deliberately took this college out of my life, He never provided me with peace and security about it either. I continued with this path, signed a housing contract, bought plane tickets to Arizona, had a roommate – I had everything in place for the fall. Still, no peace. So, you might be wondering how this could possibly be a testimony about obedience and revelation if I wasn’t obeying God? Like I said earlier, God is not going to simply mold into your life how you want Him to. He is the Author and Creator of everything, if that doesn’t include your life, then what are you doing here? 

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So. Mexico. Wow. There is so much to unpack here: joy, prayer, stewardship, serving, fellowship, worship, so many things. I had been on this trip before, so I thought I was a little more prepared as to what it would be like. False. God moves in different ways constantly, and though the itinerary and packing list were the same, God does not copy and paste His goodness! 

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I actually started out this trip with feelings of anxiety, confusion, and stress. Honestly, I didn’t even want to go. I was even more frustrated with the fact that I had this mindset. God, I know you’ve placed missions on my heart, so why am I feeling this way when I’m about to go on a MISSION trip? I prayed about it. He met me right there. He told me to let go of this life that I had been so tightly gripping onto for so long. He told me that He wants to give me more – more love, more joy, and more growth. This is where I saw the gentleness of God. He could have taken away financial support, he could have stripped me of that community that brought me this desire in the first place, He could have taken this college away from me in much harsher ways, but He didn’t. Instead, He patiently waited for me to trust Him.

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God is a gentle Father; He doesn’t come in with shame and burdens. He brings love and patience and a plan. He told me to open my heart and my hands to the possibility of following HIS plan. So I did. I opened my heart and let Him have it, all of it. Obedience to God is the most freeing thing that you could possibly choose. When you remember who writes your story in the first place, why wouldn’t you continue to lay it at His feet?

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That week I talked to the amazing staff down in Mexico about the Discipleship Training School and other opportunities to grow and learn about our Christ in a missions setting.  Plane tickets can be cancelled, roommates can be texted, and plans can change. I leave in September for a DTS with YWAM, right back in Ensenada, Mexico, and guess what I am bringing along with me…peace! Yep, you might think you have peace with something, but you will know. You will know when you have peace that is from Jesus; it is like no other. Will I miss my friends? Absolutely. I'll probably see pictures of their college experiences. I'll miss home. I'll miss my dog. But none of that compares to the joy of walking where God has called me.  

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So, what does this mean for you? Your story probably won't look like mine, but the Author is the same.

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Looking back, I can see His hand even in the smallest details. He could have allowed me to have a miserable senior year so I wouldn't want to follow my friends after graduation. Instead, He blessed me with incredible friendships that encouraged me, challenged me, and helped me grow closer to Him. And then, He gave me a choice.

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He never forced me to follow His plan. I could have continued toward this simply because it made sense. But God invited me into something different. Something better.

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I don't know what fruit my own plans would have produced years from now. But I do know this: abiding in Christ will always bear more fruit than striving on my own.

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John 15:5: “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.”