“I think the most important thing right now is that you eat lunch.”
If I told you that was one of the sentences I consider to be among the most loving things ever said in my marriage, you might think I was crazy. I was standing in Walmart, across the cart from my husband, arguing about whether or not we needed the stack of frozen lunches he was trying to put in the cart. “I don’t need those, they’re expensive and unnecessary,” I said. “I can just make something for lunch. I’ll make a sandwich or something.” My husband replied, “Yeah, but are you going to make a sandwich? I don’t think you will. And you don’t have to. You’ll have these in the freezer. Let’s make lunch easy.”
I suspect I looked pretty annoyed by this point. The reality was I was really depressed and wrestling with shame. Even making a sandwich felt impossible many days, so I skipped meals until I needed to make dinner for other people. Depression is hard, and shame is depression's ugly best friend. Even normal routines had become overwhelming. If I managed to "get together" enough for something I had to do, I crashed hard afterward.
Somewhere in the space of wherever my mind went in that moment in the freezer aisle, I heard my husband say, “I think the most important thing right now is that you eat lunch. Promise me you’ll warm one of these up every day, even when you don’t feel like it.” I felt so deeply seen and loved in that moment. My husband knew all was not well, and he also knew he couldn’t fix it. But he knew he could fix lunch. He’s a pretty wise guy - a fed wife is always better than a hungry one!
That conversation was the beginning of the light coming back on. It reminded me that fighting for me was important, too. I was valuable and deeply loved by my family (and others!) in my life. I could show myself the same grace I would show anyone in that situation. Thankfully, I have health insurance that covers mental health services. I reached out to a therapist and got into care. I had been through some serious hardships and trauma in the years leading up to that season, some of which I hadn’t sorted out and was still grieving. I had a great spouse, supportive family, and a wonderful small group. But things were beyond what could be managed solely in community at that time. My therapist was wonderful and was one of the tools the Holy Spirit used to work in my heart and mind to bring me into a better space. That experience is part of what makes me so excited about serving with Hope to Alaska. I want others who struggle with mental health to start or continue their healing journey.
I know people tend to think Ecclesiastes is a bit of a bummer book, but I love the line, "[God] has made everything beautiful in its time” (3:11 ESV). It's one I really meditate on during difficult seasons. Even in a battle with depression, I found that God was working. God is in the business of restoration, y’all. He really does make everything right eventually, even if we may not see the “right” fully until Heaven. For me, I may not be free from depression earthside forever. I live with a somewhat cyclical pattern. But I can tell you that God has used therapy in my own life to help me work through some things. I have seen things healed and restored in my heart and mind. If you’ve ever experienced freedom like that, I’m sure you can relate when I say it makes you want freedom for others.
That’s why I care so deeply about the vision for Hope to Alaska, and why I wanted to get involved with this serve team. Like I said earlier, I’m fortunate to have therapy covered under my health insurance, but this is not the case for everyone. For so many folks, therapy is beyond reach, simply because of financial limitations. Our church’s vision to see it In Alaska as in Heaven includes mental wellness. Hope to Alaska ensures that people who need mental health support can be seen by licensed and trained professionals. Alaska can be a dark place - environmentally and spiritually. Everyone deserves hope. I’m grateful I will be able to play a small part in helping the light come on for other people by serving with Hope to Alaska.
I am new to the team, but I want to share how God has already worked through Hope to Alaska. Since Hope to Alaska launched in January of 2021, we’ve had:
And here’s the thing y’all, the need is only growing. If you’re passionate about mental wellness, hope, and seeing people set free from the chains that can entrap our minds and emotions, consider joining the Hope to Alaska outreach team. That day in Walmart, my husband reminded me I was worth more than the cost of a stack of frozen lunches, and that equipped me to take more steps toward wellness. You can help others take their first step toward hope by serving with or supporting Hope to Alaska.
Note: If you're in the trenches of your own mental health journey, you are not alone. You are seen, loved, valued, and created with purpose in God's image. If you need help accessing therapy, please reach out to office@acfak.org to get connected with Hope to Alaska.
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“I think the most important thing right now is that you eat lunch.”
If I told you that was one of the sentences I consider to be among the most loving things ever said in my marriage, you might think I was crazy. I was standing in Walmart, across the cart from my husband, arguing about whether or not we needed the stack of frozen lunches he was trying to put in the cart. “I don’t need those, they’re expensive and unnecessary,” I said. “I can just make something for lunch. I’ll make a sandwich or something.” My husband replied, “Yeah, but are you going to make a sandwich? I don’t think you will. And you don’t have to. You’ll have these in the freezer. Let’s make lunch easy.”
I suspect I looked pretty annoyed by this point. The reality was I was really depressed and wrestling with shame. Even making a sandwich felt impossible many days, so I skipped meals until I needed to make dinner for other people. Depression is hard, and shame is depression's ugly best friend. Even normal routines had become overwhelming. If I managed to "get together" enough for something I had to do, I crashed hard afterward.
Somewhere in the space of wherever my mind went in that moment in the freezer aisle, I heard my husband say, “I think the most important thing right now is that you eat lunch. Promise me you’ll warm one of these up every day, even when you don’t feel like it.” I felt so deeply seen and loved in that moment. My husband knew all was not well, and he also knew he couldn’t fix it. But he knew he could fix lunch. He’s a pretty wise guy - a fed wife is always better than a hungry one!
That conversation was the beginning of the light coming back on. It reminded me that fighting for me was important, too. I was valuable and deeply loved by my family (and others!) in my life. I could show myself the same grace I would show anyone in that situation. Thankfully, I have health insurance that covers mental health services. I reached out to a therapist and got into care. I had been through some serious hardships and trauma in the years leading up to that season, some of which I hadn’t sorted out and was still grieving. I had a great spouse, supportive family, and a wonderful small group. But things were beyond what could be managed solely in community at that time. My therapist was wonderful and was one of the tools the Holy Spirit used to work in my heart and mind to bring me into a better space. That experience is part of what makes me so excited about serving with Hope to Alaska. I want others who struggle with mental health to start or continue their healing journey.
I know people tend to think Ecclesiastes is a bit of a bummer book, but I love the line, "[God] has made everything beautiful in its time” (3:11 ESV). It's one I really meditate on during difficult seasons. Even in a battle with depression, I found that God was working. God is in the business of restoration, y’all. He really does make everything right eventually, even if we may not see the “right” fully until Heaven. For me, I may not be free from depression earthside forever. I live with a somewhat cyclical pattern. But I can tell you that God has used therapy in my own life to help me work through some things. I have seen things healed and restored in my heart and mind. If you’ve ever experienced freedom like that, I’m sure you can relate when I say it makes you want freedom for others.
That’s why I care so deeply about the vision for Hope to Alaska, and why I wanted to get involved with this serve team. Like I said earlier, I’m fortunate to have therapy covered under my health insurance, but this is not the case for everyone. For so many folks, therapy is beyond reach, simply because of financial limitations. Our church’s vision to see it In Alaska as in Heaven includes mental wellness. Hope to Alaska ensures that people who need mental health support can be seen by licensed and trained professionals. Alaska can be a dark place - environmentally and spiritually. Everyone deserves hope. I’m grateful I will be able to play a small part in helping the light come on for other people by serving with Hope to Alaska.
I am new to the team, but I want to share how God has already worked through Hope to Alaska. Since Hope to Alaska launched in January of 2021, we’ve had:
And here’s the thing y’all, the need is only growing. If you’re passionate about mental wellness, hope, and seeing people set free from the chains that can entrap our minds and emotions, consider joining the Hope to Alaska outreach team. That day in Walmart, my husband reminded me I was worth more than the cost of a stack of frozen lunches, and that equipped me to take more steps toward wellness. You can help others take their first step toward hope by serving with or supporting Hope to Alaska.
Note: If you're in the trenches of your own mental health journey, you are not alone. You are seen, loved, valued, and created with purpose in God's image. If you need help accessing therapy, please reach out to office@acfak.org to get connected with Hope to Alaska.
Written by
ACF Devo Team
Eagle River Campus
16620 Brooks Loop
Eagle River, AK 99577
NE Anchorage Campus
Regal Tikahtnu
1102 N Muldoon Rd B
Anchorage, AK 99504
